Erik Stark's Chili Effort

Erik "Little Buns" Stark set out to make a bowl of classic Texas Red to share with the Chili Club. It was his effort to share his Austin, Texas roots with the group. And when members of the Chili Club met, what they tasted was... fine.

"I couldn't be there, how was it?" said serial Chili Club skipper Maria Civitate.

The weather outside was gloomy and cold, the perfect condition for chili according to member Bailey Lang.

"This kind of weather is great for chili... not the kind I'd make, which would be gross, but for literally anyone else," said Lang.

Erik Stark's Chili Effort was begun with care the night before at roughly 11pm.

"It tastes like he forgot about this until last night at around midnight," said multiple-Clio award winning creative director Tony Snethen. "But don't get me wrong, its fine."

The Chili Club lamented that Erik Stark's Chili Effort came at a difficult time for the group among multiple people out of office and many projects at critical junctures.

"I like it and all... but the timing... I just don't have time to fully enjoy it, you know? I'm so busy," said Chicago-native Glendon Scott.

Club member Carley McNary also complained of her busy schedule and how it impacted her ability to judge Erik Stark's Chili Effort.

"Similar to Glen, I, too, am busy," said Boston born Carley McNary while shopping online.

But regardless of the lukewarm temperature, Erik "Red Giant" Stark was confident about Erik Stark's Chili Effort.

"This chili represents the best of Texas," said Stark. "Like me!"

Below, take a look at full judging remarks, based on an average of Chili Club ballots:

Looks: Meh

Flavor: Meh

Scent: I'd Wear It

Digestion: Meh

B-Hole Burn: No Worries

Would you make this to impress a first date: Only if it was Stark's Mom

Would you bookmark this recipe: No

If this chili were human, the Chili Club would kill it, unfortunately. 

Overall 5.25 spoons out of 10 possible spoons 

Special thanks to Club Member Erik Stark for sharing Erik Stark's Chili Effort with us.

Glendon Scott's Kielbasa Sausage Chili Bake

This week, the Chili Club of America overcame scheduling issues and rapidly a disintegrating Republic in order to drown their sorrows in a bowl of Glendon Scott's Kielbasa Sausage Chili Bake. 

"It was time we came together as a club to celebrate the diversity of flavor in this Glendon Scott's Kielbasa Sausage Chili Bake," said Erik "No Butt" Stark. 

Glendon Scott, maker of Glendon Scott's Kielbasa Sausage Chili Bake, agreed with Stark's call for unity. 

"People need something to come together for and I think my Glendon Scott's Kielbasa Sausage Chili Bake is that thing in which people can come together," said Glendon Bradford Scott when discussing how he approached this week's recipe. "That's a hallmark of my Chili." 

Not everyone was feeling it though as one chili club member abstained from participation. 

"I wasn't there because I'm stupid," said club member Civitate in an act of defiance.

Maria's outright traitorous act was met with harsh condemnation. 

"I don't agree with what Maria did but I think we can all agree that any chance to eat kielbasa is a great day," said multiple-Cannes winning creative director Tony Snethen. 

Then again, club member Bailey Lang was able to look past the drama. 

"This is better than anything I could make. I'm serious. I can't cook," said Lang, the chili club's weakest member. 

On this divisive day, Carley McNary was able to put things into perspective. 

"With as much as I just ate, my behind is about to look like one of those Dr. Pimple Popper videos on Instagram that I love so much," said McNary. 

Below, take a look at full judging remarks, based on an average of Chili Club ballots:

Looks: Good AF

Flavor: Bathe Me In It

Scent: I'd Wear It

Digestion: Feels Good

B-Hole Burn: No Worries

Would you make this to impress a first date: Yes

Would you bookmark this recipe: Yes

If this chili were human, the Chili Club would Marry it... though having dirty sex with it was a close second. 

Overall 8.9 spoons out of 10 possible spoons 

Special thanks to Club Member G. Scott for sharing Glendon Scott's Kielbasa Sausage Chili Bake with us.

Aunt Carley's Cheesy Chicken Enchilada Chili

At noon today the Chili Club convened to sample Aunt Carley's Cheesy Chicken Enchilada Chili made by member in good standing Carley McNary. Reactions were positive across the board.

"This is better than ANYTHING I could make," exclaimed Bailey Lang.

"It looks like soup but tastes and smells like chili, so I supposed its chili but it doesn't look like it... it just smells and tastes like it" said Tony Snethen — an award winning creative director.

After initial tastes were made and compared what followed was a lively conversation.

"Our conversation was so lively, you wouldn't believe how lively it was," said Glendon Scott.

Erik "Fire Crotch" Stark was particularly vocal in his love for Aunt Carley's Cheesy Chicken Enchilada Chili.

"I'd marry Aunt Carley's Cheesy Chicken Enchilada Chili. I'd bathe my pale body in this spicy blend of spices and chicken and cheese," said an enthusiastic Stark.

Maria "Corn Hole" Civitate was equally effusive with her praise.

"It was good," said Civitate.

Below, take a look at full judging remarks, based on an average of Chili Club ballots:

Looks: Good AF
Flavor: Bathe Me In It
Scent: I'd Wear It
Digestion: Feels Good
B-Hole Burn: No Worries (though Club member Lang requested we check back after her next movement)
Would you make this to impress a first date: Yes
Would you bookmark this recipe: Yes
If this chili were human, the Chili Club would Marry it 

Overall 8 spoons out of 10 possible spoons 


Special thanks to Club Member McNary for sharing Aunt Carley's Cheesy Chicken Enchilada Chili with us.

The KC Chili Club of America Kicks Off Today

The wait is over. The KC Chili Club of America is set to launch their inaugural season today. No more talking. No more waiting. It's just beans. Red sauces. Vegetables. And, in one case, disgusting white bean and rice chili.

The Club has been waiting all year for this moment.

"I've been waiting all year for this moment," said Carley McNary, the first Clubber to share her recipe.

But that's not all.

"We'll each be sharing ours one week at a time, and that is exciting to me," said Erik "GingerSnap" Stark. "I can't wait to eat chili because I have nothing else to look forward to in my life."

Club veteran Glen Scott had some words of advice for the club.

"Basically, you just want to make chili and then serve it to people so they can eat it," said Mr. Scott.

Bailey Lang, the member of the Club who most assume will have the worst chili, was hopeful for a great season.

"I'm hopeful it will be a great season. I've got a great chickpea recipe that I can't wait to make," said Lang.

Most of all, the team is just excited to have some time to bond over a bowl of slop.

"I'm most excited for a chance to bond over chili... MY BUTTHOLE ISN'T THOUGH!" said Maria Civitate, who is often criticized for her normal lunch of tepid corn on a plate with a baggie of baby carrots.

And today, as the season kicks off, new member Tony Snethen said it best.

"Today is the first day of Chili Club, and that's cool, I guess," said Snethen.

Stay tuned throughout the season for more updates.